Something happened and I wanted to check to see if I'm the only one who thinks this is funny.
Last week, the company I work for hosted a number of events this week as part of Don't DIS my ABILITY, a celebration of people with disabilities, part of International Day of People with a Disability. It was pretty cool, especially the morning when the lobby was full of puppies that were being trained to become seeing-eye dogs and helper dogs. Very impressive what these dogs can do. But I digress ...
On Friday, they were handing out goody bags at lunch time with printed information about people with disabilities (some of it I already knew about and some was surprisingly interesting) and some little pressies. For example, my boss's Disability Week goody bag had a 'safe' candle in it, a plastic candle with a battery inside it. The candle lights up when the base is turned one way and goes out when you turn the base the other way.
My Disability Week goody bag had a pedometer in it. That didn't work. So I got the battery replaced and it still doesn't work. So, to summarise, for International Day of People with a Disability, I got a pedometer that has a permanent disability.
OK, maybe I'm the only person who thinks that is funny ...
Monday, 8 December 2008
Wednesday, 3 December 2008
Jewish Haiku
My thanks to Shirley for these. --MG Her lips near my ear,
Aunt Sadie whispers the name
Of her friend's disease. *****
So much to ask from a child
After all I've done?
*****
Today, mild shvitzing.
Tomorrow, so hot you'll plotz.
Five-day forecast: feh
*****
Yenta. Shmeer. Gevalt.
Shlemiel. Shlimazl. Meshug anah
Oy! To be fluent!
*****
Quietly murmured
At Saturday Synagogue services,
Yanks 5, Red Sox 3.
*****
A lovely nose ring,
Excuse me while I put my
Head in the oven.
****
Hard to tell under the lights.
White Yarmulke or
Male-pattern baldness
*****
Lacking fins or tail
The gefilte fish swims with
Great difficulty.
*****
Beyond Valium,
Peace is knowing one's child
Is an internist.
*****
On Passover we
Opened the door for Elijah
Now our cat is gone.
*****
After the warm rain
The sweet smell of camellias
Did you wipe your feet?
*****
Aunt Sadie whispers the name
Of her friend's disease.
*****
Today I am a man.
Tomorrow I will return
To the seventh grade.
Testing the warm milk
On her wrist, she sighs softly.
But her son is forty.
*****
The sparkling blue sea
Reminds me to wait an hour
After my sandwich.
*****
Like a bonsai tree,
Is your terrible posture
At my dinner table.
*****
Jews on safari --
Map, compass, elephant gun,
Hard sucking candies.
*****
The same kimono
The top geishas are wearing:
I got it at Loehmann's.
*****
Mom, please! There is no
Need to put that dinner roll
In your pocketbook.
*****
Seven-foot Jews in
The NBA slam-dunking!
My alarm clock rings.
*****
Sorry I'm not home
To take your call. At the tone
Please state your bad news.
*****
So much to ask from a child
After all I've done?
*****
Today, mild shvitzing.
Tomorrow, so hot you'll plotz.
Five-day forecast: feh
*****
Yenta. Shmeer. Gevalt.
Shlemiel. Shlimazl. Meshug anah
Oy! To be fluent!
*****
Quietly murmured
At Saturday Synagogue services,
Yanks 5, Red Sox 3.
*****
A lovely nose ring,
Excuse me while I put my
Head in the oven.
****
Hard to tell under the lights.
White Yarmulke or
Male-pattern baldness
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