Then I read the blogger's blurb on the side and almost lost my breakfast:
Hi, my name is Melanie. I am the wife to a wonderful man for 25 years and mom to 3 beautiful girls.
This is something that I will never understand. Why would you describe yourself in terms of your role in a family or your relationship to someone else, especially a man, as the FIRST thing you say about yourself? I don't remember reading a single blog published by a man who starts off his profile with "Hi, my name is Bob. I am the husband to a wonderful woman for 21 years and dad to 2 beautiful girls."
I believe that the relationships women have with other people, even men, are a good thing, but how does that define who you are? Aren't you someone beyond those roles and relationships? Roles and relationships change over time ... does that change who you are as an individual? Is the core of your being also transient or does it persevere through those external changes?
I am a complex person, or I'd like to think that I am. A single label or title might describe a portion of who I am and, depending on the situation, may be all that is required. But I would never include my marital status or family role as the very first thing that someone needs to know about me. My life and my sense of self are so much richer than a single role or title and richer because of those relationships and roles.
And not just for myself. How my daughter and her friends see themselves and their place in the world is still influenced and limited by how we, as their mothers, see and present ourselves to them and to the rest of the world. If she wants to be a wife and mother, you go girl. If she wants to be that and more or something else instead, you go girl. Hopefully not for a while, mind you. Please, Scout, finish high school first.
People like Karen pop up from time to time just to remind me just how different I am. Just wish she'd waited until I'd had my first cup of coffee.
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